Old Friends

You know when you are little and you meet your best friend in the 1st grade and just know you will be friends forever? You know the friends you do the most reckless, ridiculous, insane things with? When I say insane, I mean- holy cow I can't believe we didn't get caught or grounded for life. Now we didn't get away with everything, and the cops have been involved a couple of times. Oh yes, we were pretty bad on a few occasions. I look back and just say to myself "we were soooo STUPID!" But if I were going to get in trouble with anyone it would have been them.
Well I'm no longer friends with any of my childhood friends. Now most people would probably be sad about this. And at first when I realized I had lost touch or drifted apart, or had falling outs of sorts, I was sad. I felt like there was something wrong with me, and how could I lose all my friends? I felt alone, like I didn't have anyone to talk to. Now, I look at myself, my life as a wife and a mother. I am content. I am content with who I spend my time with, with who I share the love and joy of my children with, with who I share my life with. I realized it wasn't my fault. I matured and relished in being a wife and mother. While most of my friends remained the same, or grew fond of danger and things unknown to me, things I could never understand associating with.
There are lots of times when I still feel like I wish I had a great group of girlfriends to go out to dinner with, to get pedicures with, or go on weekend getaways with.
I have now begun to get braver and meet new friends, mommy friends, women with whom I have things in common with. I have learned it is a lot harder making friends as an adult then it was while being a child. But I'm happy to still be growing, expressing myself, learning and living my life.