Hard Time

I'm having a hard time with Ezra turning 1 in just 2 short weeks. I don't remember feeling this way when Finley turned 1. But then again 3 weeks after her 1st birthday we found out we were pregnant with Ezra. I have horrible baby fever, and have been looking at photos of when I was pregnant with Ezra and of his newborn photos. I seriously cannot believe how fast this has gone by. And on the other hand, I have enjoyed every moment of this first year with Ezra and don't really even remember what it was like without him. He is such an amazing blessing, him and his sister both. Finley adores him and he adores her. I love this age he is at, love to watch him toddle around after his sister, giggle and laugh with her and copy some of the things she says. But I miss my sweet tiny little newborn.
But do I really want to be pregnant again right now? No. I want to run and play and enjoy Finley and Ezra at this time. Do I want a newborn? Well I want to hold a newborn and snuggle a newborn. But I'm finally getting some sleep, so no, I do not want a newborn right now. I don't know whats I wrong with me. I really don't know what I want, so don't listen to me. Because I don't know what I'm talking about.